The Fifa president’s biography talks about magic a lot – and no wonder. There is no other way to explain his utterly ludicrous proximity to power

Gliding through time as if surfing a rainbow, you can transform uncertainty into something beautiful.

People sometimes like to talk in general terms about the idea, the abstract concept of the worst book ever written. Probably this title should belong to a book that is supposed to be good in the first place, like a really terrible Norman Mailer about a super-tough, hard-drinking American fiction genius who has a fist-fight with a zebra on an oil rig.